An Ocean Apart
Navigating the Bittersweet Symphony of Missing Someone
To miss someone — especially someone you’re close to, is such a complex and unsettling emotion. One that makes us want to put up barricades and dance with defensive manoeuvres — only to soon realise that we’ve only grown from our childish hysterics. We’ve outgrown our childhood selves, shedding the freedom to express emotions in their unfiltered, raw, true form.
The wisdom imparted is clear — tantrums and tears no longer wield the power to anchor someone in our lives. Crying is no longer a manipulative tool to bend circumstances to our will. Society advises us to accept the departure of loved ones, even if it means they relocate to another continent. It’s touted as a rite of passage into adulthood, a narrative ingrained in our minds through countless lectures on emotional management.
That it is indeed a part of so called — adulthood. A painting so vividly depicted in our minds, by those wiser than ourselves and by those who have traversed the path countless times before us. They advise us that life does move on in the end. That we will get over it. And it is indeed a integral facet of the broader human experience.
It may appear as progress, yet beneath the surface, a subconscious voice cautions us against investing too deeply in love — knowing that inevitably, people depart from our lives. To such an extent, we risk eroding our own capacity to love. We evolve to be allergic to something that brings us genuine attachment. We go to great lengths so as to ‘fix’ ourselves. To be more prepared to future absconders in our lives, so as to never get hurt ever again. Even if such an event does occur, we’re far more prepared to be affected in the long run.
We go to great lengths so as to privately pretend that they are not actually — gone. We’re in a constant habit of convincing ourselves that they are still here with us, but merely occupied with the pursuits of their lives. The memories, the good times together and the sheer love they’ve shown us never leaves us — only makes us realise that the reason we are grieving deeply is only due to the fact that we have loved fully.
As late-night calls echo across continents, a poignant realization gradually unfolds: we’ve been truly blessed all along. We feel privileged to have experienced such an emotion and now, the only way forward — is to navigate the pain without succumbing to numbness, to sustain love without losing parts of ourselves, and to wholeheartedly embrace the profound significance of that person in our lives.
We begin to feel an immense sense of achievement that comes with realising that we are indeed emotionally mature. To be okay with the fact that the people who love us continue to do so even during different circumstances — and that it’s okay. We begin to realise how much we truly adore someone when there’s an ocean between us. We begin to understand that they aren’t perfect people, but they are indeed perfect for us.
It might be a true facet of the broader human experience, but it is one that we eventually learn to cope. We continue to hold on to our people — the ones we love most and the ones we hold dear in our hearts. In pursuit that they are our forever people, and that they always will be.
