I wasn’t handed a Manual
Where do I go from here?
It’s been 3 years since I graduated from college, and it still feels like yesterday.
Since then, I’ve made a lot of decisions in my life. Some for better, some for worse. I’ve ingested information & ‘advice’ that various people have told me, and I’ve made honest efforts to incorporate them.
I’ve constantly reinvented myself. To be healthy. To eat right. To work out. To follow my passion & to do what I truly love!
Basically, I’ve been trying to live life exactly that way I had imagined.
Somewhere along the way, I’ve realised that life will never be as I imagine it to be. Life is imperfect and the sooner I accept it, the easier it will be. The same applies to people too. There is no manual, no ‘bible’ telling me how to do things right either. People have done things in the past based on what worked out for them. That doesn’t necessarily mean it might work out for me.
Coming to this realisation was hard. On one hand, I see people doing what they’ve been told. They are the ones financially stable, settled; but with no real zest for life.
On the other hand, there are ones that choose to carve their own path. These are the ones who usually suffer the most.
How do I get the best of both worlds?
Back in 2018, When I use to blog more often than I do now, I used to follow a couple of ‘digital nomads’ who seemed to be living their dream. I religiously kept my eyes peeled for their insights & idealised a world similar to theirs.
They are the ones who seem to have hit the ‘jackpot of life’. A group of people who decided one day, that traditionalism isn’t what they wanted. They tried to walk a different path and actually followed through!
You have to understand that, to a 21 year old me, that was the dream.
Freedom. Money. Time.
I thought that was what I had to look forward to. Conquering all three.
Fast forward to now, I’ve heard back from them sharing their personal stories & experiences that, the thing they looked for all along in life was stability. Even after everything they had been through, they still wanted something to anchor them down.
You might want to travel the world all year long, but you would still want to call some place ‘home.’
You might want to meet new people, make deeper relationships, but you’d still want to rely on ones you’ve always known.
There are some days where I ask myself If this clusterfuck of a decision is even worth my time. But then again, what’s the fun If I had no choice at all?
From what I’ve learnt, responsibilities give you a sense of purpose. Something to look forward to, something to take care of. A serene sense of security. I’ve been running away from them all my life, but it turns out that’s just exactly what I needed. I might still be wrong. I’ll never know.
It’s actually quite ironic because for most of our lives, we dream a life of the exact opposite.
I know what you’re thinking. Settling down isn’t the dream either. It’s a healthy mix of both.
I still haven’t figured out what works best for me. But I hope to get closer to my answer, one blog post at a time.
